He was a thoughtful spouse, kind and generous, a good provider and wonderful father, but somehow marriage had been such a letdown, nothing like the happily-ever-after I had imagined as a girl. We argued over laundry. We argued over money. We argued over whose turn it was to clean the toilets. Conversation was mostly via text message and somewhere along the way he had decided farting in bed was OK. Sex was scheduled twice a month on our family calendar using the code word “nap” sandwiched in between soccer practice and doctor’s appointments. Two minutes to kiss then five minutes of in-and-out followed by a warm washcloth afterwards. Once in a while I managed a feeble orgasm but mostly I just wanted to get it over with. I was tired of happily-ever-after. I longed to be someone’s right-now. I rang and let myself in. Kathy huddled under a blanket on the sofa as I’d seen her last. She smiled wanly and whispered, “Thanks, Sara. I’ll never forget what you’re doing for me. The kids are in. ”She smiled even more broadly – a Christian! Just right. ‘God’ he thought, ‘she could swallow a whole zebra with that mouth.’ For the rest of the time there, he couldn’t help imagining her as an alligator waiting to pounce on a surprised victim. He saw it happen occasionally – when a camper dropped a sweet wrapper for example – and was grateful not to be on the menu.So with one bound (he thought) he was free, free of having to understand bloody American Football, free of an ignominious return to the UK, free to enjoy the summer. For the first time he contemplated the gender imbalance in the camp, and smiled. Not that it was some lascivious, evil, paedophilic, cradle snatching smile. He was after all the same age as many of the camp friends and only a little older than many of the kids who would arrive today. That kind of preying on the weak was more a factor of older people. No, he just naturally preferred to be in the company of pretty, young women (or even less than pretty – a large.
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